jadi ceritanya hari kamis kemaren dapet kabar kalo my friend's ex has died after having such a long medication in hospital because of an accident about 3 weeks ago. to be honest, I even don't know him at all, bahkan ngga pernah ketemu. cuma denger cerita-cerita mereka aja, about almost 5-years being together, the story about how they met and finally felt in love each other, until how they finally finished it about 1-2 years ago. kabarnya juga sebenernya cuma gitu doang: si anu meninggal. tapi pas ngedenger rasanya kayak langsung masuk ke hati gitu, sedih banget for no specific reason, trus tetiba pengen nangis. ah dear me, how fragile. trus sepanjang kelas jadi kepikiran, had no attention for the class anymore, ngelamun, and somehow I just could feel how my friend felt. ya walaupun she has a new one already now, but somewhere inside my chest just like got a deep stab :"
just can't imagine how if it happened to me. have no idea how to do if only it happened to me. (I instantly prayed to God to never have such a thing.) I just have no idea about how can I handle terrible thing like that. just because if once I ever loved someone, I did mean it. I always do it with my whole heart (even if it was only for a little while), (sometimes get involved too deep and serious, in another word: stuck). I never play with someone's feeling. jadi yaa ngga kebayang aja. amit-amit sih. and all I could do for the rest of the class was just thinking, hoping, and praying. (while holding my tears to not fall across my eyes). the rain and thunders that evening somehow fitted my feeling :" looked outside the windows while thinking did relieve myself then. ah dear me
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